Time- 3:48am. Status- cant sleep. Mood- hungry. Slightly annoyed. Thought- blaaaaaarrrg. Hoping- someone would wake up and talk to me.

Dear Justin Beiber,

Die. Slowly. Painfully. In a horrible Saw trap that you cannot escape from. Fall off the empire building, and land on car on fire, filled with dead kittens. Get hit by a short bus, and then promptly beaten up by the special kids on the short bus. Get locked in a room that slowly fills up with pee. That way you can smell asperigus before you drown in urine. Get put in jail and fucked by a train of beefy, tattoo'd black men with girl names. Get strapped to a lightning rod, but naked, and let the lightning strike at your bare vagina. Get put in a room with Charles Manson and Ted Bundy after we tell them you love black people. You are a blight on humanity, and in turn, the galaxy. You sing like a girl, play drums like a girl, and dance like a girl, which leads me to ask, when are you getting your period? And please let me know if you training bra is too tight. Because i will more than happily loosen it with a hand grenade. If i ever saw you in public, i wouldnt be sure whether id walk away and find a good rooftop to set up my sniper rifle or, or to give you a sword, challenge you to a duel, and slice your head, of and scream "There can be only one!" Kthnxbye:)

Dear Owl City,

Win. Just win.

Dear Texas In July,

How are you so amazing?

Dear Emmure,

Stop sucking so much.

Thought of the night...

So tonight is a very special night. For tonight, ive had the biggest revalation ive ever had in my life to date. Because tonight, while i has having a beer and playing guitar in the backyard while watching the storm, i realized that i think im still in love with someone. And the sad part is, She is soo much better off without me in her life. I guess it all started freshman year. We had History together with Mr Richards. I sat in the back corner on one side, and she was on the other corner in the other side of the room. We actually started talking because we got grouped together for a project. After it was done. We started talking, and eventually we went to the Homecoming dance together, my first slow dance.. And the following monday, i gave her, her first kiss. and it was also mine. Even after we broke up, we stood as close as could be. Through everything. she was always there. We used to spend every friday sitting on her couch, eating popcorn and pixie stix and drink apple juice and ski, watching family guy and Sweeney Todd. And whether it was bowling or going to Long Acre, or just sitting on my bed watching Tv, there was always a calming feeling when we'd be together. I dont know why i didnt take her back when i had so many chances. Ive seen her grow up into an amazing woman, And ive been lucky to share with her, some very wonderful memories. There was a time where i was really sick, and i could barely move, i had no energy left. She didnt call, she didnt text, and i didnt tell her i was sick. And one day she just came over and took care of me. She made me sammiches, and soup. she brought me pixie stix, and sat and talked with me for hours. And right before she left, i asked her "how did you know i was sick?" and all she said was "i just know you". she smiled and walked away. I named my first guitar after her. Because no matter how many places i went, no matter how busy i was, and no matter how long ive been gone, i could come home, and Elizabeth would be there. Just like she was. There were so many things i could tell about her, but i wouldnt have nearly enough time to type it all. But at the end of the day- Nicole Elizabeth Cron is the most inspriring person i have ever had the pleasure of knowing. IF only i could be in her life again, then i might be actually be able to tell her myself, rather than type it here where itll sit here til i delete this thing. but enough rambling from me, im gonna have another Beer, chase the dragon a bit, and then its off to bed...

Someone, somewhere is loving me tonight, looking at the same moon, and seeing it soo bright...

Thought of the night...

You know, ive thought alot about things when i was on the road. And as much as i love music and traveling, and as much as i might bad mouth this town, at the end of the night, theres something specail about coming home, grabbing a bear and sitting in the backyard looking at the stars. Because as much as i may not like to admit it, so much of my life has happened here. My first kiss, my first love. I learned how to catch a baseball here. I had my first dance here. Ive seen many sights all around this country. Ive seen a falling star in Ohio, i saw an eclipse in Florida, and Ive seen the worlds most beautiful sunrise skyline in New York. But here- there are the smallest, but greatest treasures ive come to find. sitting on the top hill of Longacre and counting stars, climbing up on the roof of PetsMart and looking at the whole carnival they put up in the Walmart parking lot, and even going to see a crappy movie at the Lincoln and going across the street to the Dreamy Creamy to eat ice scream and laugh with friends. I love music, and i look forward to going on longer and longer tours, but its always good to have somewhere to come back to, even if you dont have someone to come back to...

Just played a show in Hannibal, MO, with an indoor skatepark filled with kids and we sold nearly all our merch and signed autographs. Best night ever!

I like airports. Cause i like seeing the joy on peoples faces when loved ones come back. Cause for that small moment, nothing in the world is wrong.

Question- How do deaf people sign an order in the drive thru?

I was on the train and this homeless dude came up and was all like 'spare some change' and im like 'yeah, whatevr'

It was a good first day.

Lmao ive been here for 8 hours and ive already seen 13 people get arrested. I love this place

Just landed in the big city. Let's have an adventure!

NYC here i come. Lol day one of my trip. Ill be posting pics and fun stuff as the weeks come along.

FOR THE HORDE!

I've decided to get the horde symbol as my second tattoo. Im gonna do some artistic tweaks to it, but its gonnna be pretty sweet. I still have to get my first tattoo lol but this has the #2 spot for sure. Yes. I am a huge dork. Thank you for noticing =P

I clocked out of work early, was about to walk out, My boss came out and said 'hey you still have another hour' and im all like 'yeah, whatever!' and left =P

Im just making this worse!

Okay, so i started playing World Of Warcraft last wensday. And im already level 44. Naturally im on the Horde instead of the gay Alliance. (Im a Blood Elf Paladin). And i know ive lost so much time of my life to this game already. But two days ago, i just made it worse lol. I started my own guild called The Death Riders. Ive spent alot of time recruiting and training the new people. So i expect to see very little of the sun or moon, apart from going to work, or going to Rauckmans every saturday to party and hang out lol. Long live the Horde!

Random Fact Of The Day- In florida, it is illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on thursdays.

I was 22. Alone with nothing to do, and i couldnt sleep. Cause all those old days returned with there old ways of causing, new apathy.

The book of love is long and boring. And written very long ago. Its full of flowers and heart shaped boxes, and things were all too young to know.

'If you haven't heard yet, im lettin ya know, there aint shit we dont run when the guns unload' lol i love Linkin Park

Tonight was win.

Having the place to myself for the week has been pretty awesome so far.

Below the misty mountain clouds, theres a lovely silver bay, where sunset sailors often hide away...

Who could love someone like me?

Thought of the night...

Its funny. We could think of ten different ending to a situation we are facing, and we could still be wrong. And most of the time, we could end up looking foolish, making a mistake, or simply getting hurt. But most of all, its always good to remember that we should never expect more from ourselves than we can really give. Because if you do, you might just wind up not meeting your own expectations. Failing ourselves is always worse than failing someone else. Even if its on the simplest things. Someone once asked me, "Why is it we spend so much time thinking about doing something, rather than doing it?". Its because if we think too  much about it, we begin to doubt that we can accomplish what we're thinking about. "Wise and slow. They stumble, that run fast." Thats a quote from Romeo And Juliet. It means that we should always take our time when dealing with things. Because if you try and rush in and find a solution, you'll only make things worse or lose your chance to get what you want. there are of course, those certain situations where rushing in is exactly whats needed. But per the overall, grand scheme of things, its always better to take your time and look at everything before you assume you know how things wills go. I realize as im writing this, that i must sound like a hipocrate, because i dont think too much, i just go with the wind into anything im involed with. So i write this, not only as a lesson to any who come across this, but as a way to take a step back and look at how i handle things. I know that there are times when i should think before i act. And im gonna start doing that. But i have my own demons i have to deal with on my own time. Taking into account ones past mistakes and failures is never an easy, or short list to make. But we can do our best to make sure we dont add to that list. And if we do, then we must learn from the new mistakes we make. We are always bound to make more mistakes, because the more we grow, the more we learn, and the more situations we face, the more we are bound to not know how to handle some of them. But in the end, our expectations can either be our friend, or our worst enemy. Its up to you to choose how big you'll let your expectations become.

Show in freeburg tomorrow. Hope i dont feel too sick so i can try and have some fun

It was stupid of me to think it would of ended any differently. Can't say i didnt try.

Being sick is gay.

Random Fact Of The Day.

Orlando Bloom was offered the part of Legolas in The Lord Of The Rings just 2 days before he was supposed to graduate acting school and a day and a half before shooting of the movie had begun.

This Week

I hope all goes as planned for tomorrow and wensday. Cause im hoping someone will come over and actually have some time to hang. As for the rest of the week, my band has a show on saturday at the american legion hall in Freeburg, illinois. It should be alot of fun(: Other than that, not much else, just surfing netflix and lookin for a better job =P Current things on my mind- Wishing the download for MapleStory would go faster, i still feel kinda sick, i want Rally's and I feel like cuddling with someone and watching a movie. Hmmm.....anyway, back to random youtube vids!

Fuck!

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Im in Rolla. Went to a few frat parties. And it was pretty cool. But it was still on my mind. Eh idk. Going to bed.

Thought of the night...

It's funny- we never truely understand how great a person in our life is, until they arent there anymore. Whether its a best friend you no longer talk to. Or a father who moved away to start a new life for himself. It could be as suttle as you only hear from them every few days on the phone, or as big as they wanted you out of their life completely. But at the end of the day, when you don't get to have that physical presence of that person, it could throw your mind into a whole new perspective. As much as people come and go in your life, there are always those special few who will always be in your head and in your heart. Giving you advice, making you laugh, or even simply being on your mind. Even when that person leaves your life, they're never really gone. Because we still remember them, There lessons they've tought us and the things that make both of you laugh, will still stay with you. And sometimes its better to not try and pick up the pieces. because if you try to, and it fails, the pieces will be broken into even smaller ones. As much as we would like to have certain people in our lives, there are those situations where its better to leave it at goodbye. And then there are those situations in which we know we can make things right. And all we need is to look for that chance to do so. Who knows how long it will take to gain some of those people back. But as long as they meant something to you, it will always be worth the wait. Because people who affect you that much, can always be regained. Even if its not in the way that you thought. But the important thing is, that their there again. But only time will tell who will leave, and who will come back...

I really miss you, dad...

I hope tomorrow goes as planned ^.^

As good as my life is going, i miss feeling appreciated. Wanted. And in some ways- needed. But i suppose all comes in due time. Goodnight
(>'.')> <('.'<)

tonights mood song

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Bored at night.

Thought of the night...

We only get one life. And in this one life, there are many choices we have to make. And the biggest choice is how we choose to spend our lives. whether its by pursuing a dream of being rich and powerful, becoming a rockstar, a freelance artist, or even a teacher. But what most people forget is their passion for what they want to do most. They get soo caught up in work and school, relationships and drama, that they forget what they spent hours dreaming of at night, looking in their mirrors and laying in their beds at night. And i think if this more people did what they really wanted to do, this world would be a much better place. Because to survive everything we go through, the relationship drama,the boring jobs and dull classes, as long as we keep chasing our dreams, then we can always find happiness. Its sad that when we grow up, most of us forget that life is a playground, and we're meant to run around barefoot, yelling out lungs out, and sing without a care. Life is what we make it. And for better or worse, people need to wake up and realize that. Ive heard alot of my friends say they dont want to become what there in school for, but they got nothing else to be. There so wrong. they could be anything they want. All it takes is the passion and determination for it. I have this close friend of mine. Shes always wanted to do art. But her parents want her to be a teacher. They forgot what it means to have dreams and to follow them. And as for her, i encourage her to keep trying to do art. Because once you make it, which i know you will, nothing could bring you down. Because at the end of the day, your doing what you love. And no one could ever regret doing what they love for a living. We only get one life. And in this life, there are many choices we have to make. So choose wisely.

Band Pics

Im bleeeeeeeeeding!

I'm alone above the atmosphere
And no one looking up can find me here
Cause I can close my eyes, and disappear
When I climb the stairs to watch the sun
Above station walls, the colors run
To fill the swimming pool when I am done

I am the captain of an oil tanker that travels throuh your veins

When the satellites hang all around
And I can finally hear the lovely sound
When all the engines in the backroom die down
All the airships move across the sky
And my equipment just keeps standing by
The planets glow and intensify

I am the pilot of a cargo airplane that travels throuh your veins

When you are lying half asleep in your room
Unaware if it is midnight or afternoon
Because the water doesn't flood the stairwell
It could be raining but then you can never tell.

If you're alone in this awful downpour
Then struggle free and paddle out the cellar door

In the evening light the boulevard
Conceals the night with disregard
For all the workers in a west coast ship yard
When I rearrange the silverware
And re-install the lights and captian's chair
I'll lift the ceiling off to breathe the ocean air

I am the engineer of forty freight trains that travels throuh your veins

When you are lying half asleep in your room
Unaware if it is midnight or afternoon
Because the water doesn't flood the stairwell
It could be raining but then you can never tell.

If you're awake in this awful downpour
Then struggle free and paddle out the cellar door
When you are swimming in Miami at night
And all around you are the traffic and city lights

Currently playing Techno Kitten Adventure.

Just had a revelation while playing my guitar.

Wake up on your own, and look around you, cause your not alone.
Let your hopes go and they'll survive, cause this is the future and you are alive.

From the ashes...

Im currently watching Claymore and having cereal. And im thinking alot about a bad situation i think i caused. im not sure. I mean if i hadnt said anything in the first place, none of this would of been an issue, so yeah lol its pretty much my fault. So i feel like an ass. But on a better note. I made this because i figured writing on here was better than talking to myself, so i'll give it a shot.